WHATEVER

I don’t know why I am writing this,

Don’t know why I am being a fool,

I don’t want to go, the option being hard to miss,

Still, I allow myself to be used as a tool.

This stanza holds no meaning for me,

As did the one, preceding this,

I do not have worthy thoughts to pen,

But the ones that one may count as shit.

They say I write good English, gosh!

I did not even realize when I wrote anything,

Never have my emotions betrayed me before,

I have been contained, unable to fly, like a bird without a wing!!!

Welcome to a word of madness and devilry,

My past holds ample amounts of both,

I am ashamed of my family and lineage,

I hate to be counted as one of them, without any worth.

It’s good we are isolated and distant from rest,

I hate their bloody gene, damn it!

The same blood runs in my veins,

I want to escape from that place of bullshit.

I know this poem does not make any sense,

I know my thoughts swayed towards the end,

Do not read it again if you think I am a fool,

Because, for you, whatever I am, I wont mend.

CODSWALLOP

A nameless regret resides in my troubled heart,

A ceaseless pang on pain batters me every second,

I think I can name the loss of my happiness shirt,

But it eludes me and my imagination, I can’t pretend.

Stormy nights encompass my shadow world,

I will sail the sea of nothingness for eternity,

Thoughts sway inside me, leading to inferiority complex,

I want to get away from my blessed fraternity.

I have a world free of worldly sorrows and desire,

To roam in it, to my heart’s content is a dream,

To feel the joys of love and kindness is like a barbed wire,

The tighter you grasp, the deeper it cuts, inviting a scream.

My loss is someone else’s gain, someone worthier,

I can not decide which aspect of it to elude,

Every second it cuts into me, like flesh on fire, but swarthier,

The reason is obvious, I though lament it, never come to conclude.

People say I am talented, full of vital energy,

I see them, I know I am different from all,

I pray I come out in flying colors and a renewed synergy,

But all determination ,ultimately fails, triggering a fall!!!

SOMETHING TO THINK

The season’s cool evening breeze blows through the window,

I am sitting with a thousand thoughts in my brow,

The ceiling fan circulates dry warm air,

It ceaselessly blows through my tangled hair.

Thoughts lead to confusing scenarios and light

My inner-self does not know which way is right,

My feet are firmly set on two banks,

Both of them are right and of worthy ranks.

I long for her soft, soothing voice,

Giggling and blushing and when she makes a choice,

Her eyes are just like mine, dark brown.

Her hair adorns her graceful head like  a kingly crown.

Oh! How many times have I wished to smell those!

A hope, that was always like water from a dry hose,

I thought myself as an erring dork,

With a porous mind like a cork!

The season’s cool evening breeze blows through the window,

I am sitting with a thousand thoughts in my brow,

I think I know the answer to all my troubles,

But reason, it seems to burst out like bubbles!!!

PIRATES

The sea’s as quiet as death,

The sailors are scared of foul breathe,

Personal hygiene takes a back seat,

When the pirate lords take to meat.

Abuses and laughter float around,

Shortage of rum triggers a shout,

Brave-hearted though they are,

Their mind is as black as tar.

But some of them are noble,

Fierce, but their cores are humble,

Freedom is all they seek,

And get rind of bondage reek.

Plans and strategies go unheeded,

Escape-routes and ‘parley’ is invoked as needed,

Treasures, gold and women be an-

ample reason for quest, for the Pirates of the Caribbean!

PONDER

Do you know how to live for eternity?

Do you know how to defeat the final frontier?

Do you fear the deep, dark abyss?

And do you want to stand up and command your fear?

Doomed are all who are born as men,

Even the mighty Gods covet this singular gift,

Yet we mortals seem to run away from death,

And tend to out-wit this heavenly shift.

Wasted away are years in research and study,

Life’s longetivity is useless to stretch,

Your assigned work should be complete.

Lest it is no use to live longer and become a wretch.

Have you tried to understand why we die?

Death is like going to sleep after a hard day’s work,

Every muscle yearns to sleep at last,

Ignorance however feeds upon us like a shark.

CURIOUS

I see a face staring at me in the darkness,

I can guess it is lined with many-a-trouble,

I can see the dark brown eyes which want to harness-

The love of a woman, in midst of all rubble.

The eyes hold a fear of some distant dread,

They say a story of unyielding agony,

Wasted away are the years, that men tread,

And doom themselves by binding in holy matrimony.

Love of a dear, beloved one is valued very much,

His curious  face holds an expectant vigil,

Set firmly are his lips as such,

A radiant expression besieges him, like a man down with measles.

Deep  in the recess of his eyes, a fear resides,

A dread of the most common type for men,

Sacrifice is willingly done by one who loves, besides

Being unable to be rewarded, for the emotions that are difficult to pen.

DESTINED TO WORK

People tend to take it for granted,

When they get, whatever they wanted,

The loss or absence reveals the truth,

Sweet indeed it is the hard labour’s fruit.

Lazy men can not succeed in life,

Their quest stands on the edge of a knife,

One wrong step triggers their fall,

Which, although sudden, was certain after all!

Every deed needs sincere effort behind,

Anyone who does not believe must be out of his mind,

Faith is the driving factor here,

The unfaithful lot makes up the rear.

It is not easy to accomplish,

The evident deeds that are God’s wish,

We must be headstong and focus,

Because a single mistake may change the whole locus!!!

SALVATION

How will I face myself when I look into the  mirror?

How can I withstand the fiery gaze of my eyes?

When I think of the events of the last 2 days,

I deeply regret my words of fury and lies!

Who will look, to check if I am hurt or not?

Who cares if I live life or just survive?

My battered heart does not beat wholeheartedly,

Yet fury, mingled with grief, patrols my heart, difficult to revive.

None dare to pass the shadowy world into my heart,

Like the jagged peaks of mountains, bald and stony,

I am a heartless person, as they say,

I roam the streets of fear, like a man sans money.

I feel a pang of pain, my flesh burns against my skin,

A red-hot iron pin stabs my covered chest,

A jolt tightens in my stomach, tears race to trickle down,

My self-control is faltering, against it I can wrest.

I have hurt her numerous times I accept it,

Each time, my pain I keep it inside myself,

Burning the insides of a heartless wretch,

I cant express myself properly, I am as timid as an elf.

I love her and she knows it even more than I do,

Yet she tests my patience sometime,

I do not complain because I don’t have a right to,

Since she’s not mine as she says betimes.

SOMETHING TO DREAD

Sometimes it’s just me and my imagination,

Sometimes it’s just my cold persuasion,

To hide the truth that I know resides,

In my gloomy heart, with dread besides.

 The relationship will be damaged, that’s what I don’t want,

Many a chord that that binds us may break and also the chant,

Of eternal bonding and respect that I share,

But the truth may lay all my liabilities bare.

I think I am a fool, my determination does not hold long,

My deepest desires, I am afraid to lay out in the throng,

I feel I will be exposed; my soul will be naked,

Long I for the lonely glades, far from anything wicked.

I cherish the good old days, when I was pure,

I want to be back there, to get the easy cure,

To all my confusions and vain hallucinations,

That I may rest in bliss, with purged implications

RETURN

Two weeks of glory, then toil,

This cruel go of nature, I can not foil,

Its time I bade goodbye to home,

And made my way to the cage of norm.

The days at home were like a rhyme,

I did not feel the passing of time,

It all comes to an end now,

I have to treasure the memories somehow.

There was no care, no trouble,

Freedom of all sorts and no wobble-

Of pain or study, to hinder joy,

Fatigue was always used as a decoy.

The days seemed brighter than usual,

The wind and birds seemed extra vocal,

All that seems to fade,

When ill-tidings of hostel invade.

I don’t want to go, don’t want to part,

With the homely house, and thwart-

The impending blowing of departure,

There will be numerous wounds to nurture!!!

for my best frnd!

From: Avi

STRUPID

A million miles away from me, far away in the North-east,

You stay in my heart, just a heartbeat away in the mist-

Of loyalty and love, you bring a sense of completion,

Without you, my life would have been a file worthy of deletion.

Your smile lights up my heart, I feel elated here,

Just to know you are safe and sound, the anxiety is not mere,

Whatever happens, however far we are, you will be always with myself,

I wont be letting you go that easily, you are permanent on my shelf.

The sound of your chuckling smoothens my grooved forehead,

Your happiness does indeed make me happy as I tread-

In a world of imagination, where you dwell as my guardian angel,

And guard over me, like a ‘dark knight’ with a crown of hazel.

You care for me, that is comforting and warm to the very heart,

Your love heals the zillion wounds that I smart,

I don’t know how would I manage without you, in my life,

Your anger cuts through my flesh like a cold blunt knife.

I regret I have hurt you many-a-times,

Sometimes as frequent as the grandfather-clock’s hourly chimes,

I get hurt in the meantime of hurting you too,

The pain I suffer, when you cry coz of me, is impossible to shoo.

I love you and you know that, more than I ever loved anyone,

You are my most prized possession, than that ‘special  some1’,

Nicky does indeed have stout competition here,

Ms Tanaz, you are, as you know, my dearest dear.

To my best frnd! 

Love,
        Avi

IF I COULD

If I could pluck the colors in the rainbow,

If I could separate clips out of a live show,

If I could unwind the tides of fate,

I would want you to relive this life once more as my best mate.

If I could prevent the wear and tear of time,

If I could block the devastation that age brings, after prime,

If I could stand up and say no to nature,

Your friendship is the one I would like again to culture.

I admire the way you handle things, the way you hurt back,

To cause maximum pain and lateral damage, the way you whack,

My own inner-self when I hurt you, the max,

The pain of doing it is like a flesh in molten wax!

I am sorry for every wrong I have done you, and every amiss,

I do not deserve your love and I mean this,

I repent for my rash words and illogical anger,

I want you, for being an important part in life, amidst my insatiable hunger.

Bloody is the heart that dare inflict you pain,

Battered is myself, that does this for some selfish gain,

Never do I mean to hurt you and make you cry and sob,

I do cry myself, burning from inside, like a fiery mob!