REFLECT

I think I once was a poet, had words for my feelings,

I think I once was happy, with no pain or sorry dealings,

All this has faded into the past, I am no more,

My insides are void, I feel nothing, m empty to the core.

I look at my friends, their eyes are questioning,

I let a smile escape my lips, I don’t have any reasoning,

The length of the smile is short, the rascals see that,

I cannot tell them what has happened, and the pain I cannot thwart.

My mind fluctuates, I don’t have the will to live,

I can exist, but the reason to live is missing,

I can’t even cry, fuck my eyes off!

I am angry, my friends bear the behavior—rough.

Sometimes I wonder, if it is me who is responsible,

For all these bullshit and me shit of a mind is untamable,

I am a lowly bastard and my feelings are filth,

To hell with my heart! I hate myself and the life I have.